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This blog, as with every part of Parasol Wellness, is created as a team with articles authored by many of our therapists. We strongly believe that we’re better together than we could ever be individually and this blog is perfect evidence of that. We hope you find some peace and inspiration here! Please don’t hesitate to reach out with any requests or feedback- we’d love to hear from you!

April 13, 2020 by Parasol Wellness Collaborative 1 Comment

COVID 19- What Now? Fostering Healthy Parasympathetic Function

What Now?

By Leah D Corder, MA LMFT

We recently wrote about the trauma response to COVID 19 and why people seem to be more exhausted than usual, with a lower capacity for dealing with the day to day.  Many found that post to be helpful and we wanted to loop back to discuss- what now?  So we know that the collective stress is wreaking havoc on people’s nervous systems, keeping us in a more constant state of fight or flight and it’s also important to address how to best nurture healthy parasympathetic response (the body’s ability to calm and regulate).

As a refresher, your sympathetic nervous system is responsible for the anxiety response that many of us are experiencing and the subsequent exhaustion.  The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for chilling us out and bringing our body back to a neutral homeostasis.  Both are important systems that are out of whack in many of us when there’s so much to be anxious about for such a relentlessly long period of time.  It’s also worth noting that spending too much time hanging out with your sympathetic nervous system in a state of anxiety weakens the immune system and our ability to fight off COVID 19- so even if you’re not exceptionally worried about the feelings of anxiety, your immune system needs you to attend to the stress so it can go to war against COVID 19, should you become exposed.

Jenn Geryol talked in her earlier article Why Am I So Tired? About practicing grace- allowing yourself to feel how you feel without judgement.  This is imperative.  We know that when we are able to allow our feelings, we’re more quickly able to process along to find solutions.  When we’re busy judging the emotions, we can’t also be focusing on how to resolve them.  Therefore, it makes sense to have a first step of non-judgmentally noticing what’s going on in our bodies.  Often times reminding ourselves to stop and breathe will provide this moment of clarity so we can move on to the next step- nurturance.

Much of what we know about regulating the parasympathetic nervous system comes down to your run of the mill, basic self-care strategies.  Breathing exercises can be incredibly effective as well as frequent body scans where you practice releasing tension in your body wherever you find it.  I find that square breathing is easiest for me to access no matter how dysregulated I feel- breathe in for a count of 5, hold for a count of 5, breathe out for 5 and hold for 5 before going around the square again and as many times as needed before some clarity comes.  Additionally, taking a walk in nature, finding an excuse to giggle (or better yet- a full on belly laugh!), petting a dog, praying, practicing yoga, etc- all great ways to calm the body enough to help your natural balance to return.  And, there are some strategies that can be employed right now that are maybe a little less common as well.

Diet:

Your diet plays a big part in your body’s ability to function optimally and the parasympathetic nervous system craves protein, B vitamins, and omega 3 fatty acids.  Try incorporating protein into your diet more frequently throughout the day for sustained energy.  Eat fatty fish, walnuts and avocado for fatty acids (and/or take a fish oil supplement).  Increase your B vitamin consumption with whole grains and dark, leafy greens- but remember these are water soluble vitamins that get flushed out within hours if not used by the body, so eat them frequently throughout the day and/or consider supplementing.  Additionally every organ and process in our body needs proper hydration to function optimally and the stress response process is no exception- drink plenty of water throughout the day to reclaim that negative cycle of dehydration causing stress on the body and stress on the body using up more of the water you’re putting in.  Avoid caffeine and alcohol as both can upset the already delicate balancing act.  Additionally, know that increased sympathetic nervous system activity (aka stress) makes digestion in general more difficult for your body- chew your food completely to give your body a helping hand.

Exercise:

Exercise gives your body an excellent opportunity to train in transitioning from sympathetic nervous system response back to parasympathetic, strengthening the process.  Moderate aerobic exercise can strengthen the response of the parasympathetic nervous system and decrease your resting heart rate- walking or doing yoga just 30 min a day for at least 5 days/week is recommended. High intensity exercise also gives your body a chance to practice and strengthen the calming response.

Sensory:

Pay attention to sensory input.  Literally everything you sense is processed through this nervous system.  And, right now we know that our nervous systems could use a little bit of help regulating- so now is a good time to try out some aroma therapy, tidy up the house, dim the lights, or tuck in with a soft blanket while we work from home.  Pay attention to what you’re sensing and do what you can to lovingly soften the blow to your nervous system.  We’re able to control so much more of our environments than we recognize and taking control of what we can when the world feels out of control can be so soothing.

Gratitude:

Gratitude- if you’re reading this right now you have much to be grateful for.  You’re living, breathing.  You’re connected to information and resources via the internet.  You most likely have a roof over your head and food in your belly.  You’re learning, right now, about how to make yourself more comfortable.  These are gifts.  Allowing yourself to feel grateful expresses your parasympathetic nervous system response and will reduce anxiety, especially if this practice is cultivated as a habit over time.  It’s real difficult for your sympathetic nervous system to justify freaking out in a fight or flight response when you’re feeding your brain with thoughts about how you’re safe right now.

Chanting:

Chanting or humming can help to activate your parasympathetic nervous system as well.  The backbone of the whole system, the vagus nerve, runs down your ear and throat through your heart and into your internal organs.  You can activate that vagus nerve by chanting or humming, bringing about a sense of peace and calm.

Tune in:

Trust your body.  Your body knows what to do- so many of the processes that keep us alive and functioning throughout the day are happening without our awareness.  As you’re reading this, your body is working to keep you healthy and alive.  Spending some time reveling in the wonder of the intricate processes at work can be another great avenue for gratitude and can provide clarity around where you feel off in the body and what to do about it.

Once we’ve completed that crucial first step of nonjudgmentally noticing what’s going on inside of us, solutions are often just right around the corner.  For example, I might notice that I’m having a disproportionate response to my kid’s fighting (aka- I’m yelling and freaking out over something inconsequential).  If I breathe through it and get curious about my own response, I can admit that I am activated more than I’d like to be.  I might notice that I’m carrying a ton of tension in my shoulders, neck and chest.  There’s an obvious solution to that tension- yoga, some informal stretching, a walk, or even just progressive relaxation using that body scan I mentioned earlier.  In taking that time to care for my muscles, I can reflect on factors that may have led to the disproportionate response to start with- I haven’t carved out much time and space for myself with my kids home all the time.  There’s an obvious solution there, too, and my intuition would tell me to let the kids do their own thing for a bit so I can read a book or write a blog post.  I might recognize that I feel sluggish in my gut and recall that I ate a ton of the kids’ Easter candy after they went to bed.  Clear solution- lots of water and a salad for lunch today. Those solutions only become clear once I’ve removed the judgement and reflected on the sensations with curiosity.  Once they come to me, though, what I’ve got is much more valuable than any self-care blog post- I’ve got direction right from the source and tailored to my unique needs.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Leah Corder

April 6, 2020 by Parasol Wellness Collaborative 132 Comments

Why Am I So Tired?

 

 

For the last two weeks I have heard one question more than any other. Whether clients, friends, or family members, over and over again I have heard asked some version of the same question: “why am I so tired?” This question is usually prefaced by the perceived lack of energy each person feels they are expending. Examples include “how can I just sit at home all day and still be so tired?” or “I have so much free time, why am I constantly exhausted?” To understand the answer to these questions, we first need to recognize that the current pandemic, and the resulting quarantine we find ourselves under, is a unique situation that most of us have never faced before in our lifetime and that this situation is a form of community trauma.

Our Brains on Trauma

Deep in the temporal lobe of our brains, just above the brain stem, is a small structure called the amygdala. The amygdala is known as the fear center of our brain. This is the part of our brain that is continually scanning our surroundings and environment for signs of danger and then kicks off the sympathetic nervous system in response to any perceived threats. The sympathetic nervous system directs our body’s response to threat by preparing our body systems to protect us. Our heart rate increases, breathing becomes more rapid, and glucose is dumped into the bloodstream in order to prepare us to stand and fight the threat, or to turn and run to escape from it. This is the response that is commonly known as “fight or flight.” The important thing to know about the amygdala is that it cannot tell the difference between a real or perceived threat. This sympathetic response is automatic, and outside of our voluntary control. This is all well and good when we need quick, temporary protection from a threat, are able to respond, and then are able to engage the parasympathetic nervous system in order to regulate our body systems and regain a sense of calm and safety. When we are living in a state of on-going perceived threat, especially that which is traumatic in nature, our brains have difficulty engaging the parasympathetic response and returning to calm. Think about it this way: the amygdala is like the smoke alarm of your brain. It senses danger, and alerts your body to protect itself from danger. Now, imagine someone has pulled your smoke detector, and it’s gotten stuck in the on position. The alarm tone is blaring, the lights are flashing, and no matter what you try to do to put out the fire, there’s no shutting the thing off. This is your brain under traumatic stress. No wonder you are exhausted; your body has been functioning all day long in fire-fighting, fight or flight mode, and nothing you can do can change this for any significant length of time. What’s worse is, each time your brain is again assaulted by news of the contagiousness of the virus or the rising number of people sick or dying, each time we enter a grocery store and see bare shelves triggering thoughts of scarcity, or hear that there may not be enough masks or ventilators to save lives, our brains are again kicked into high alert. This is the definition of a chronic state of community trauma.

With other community traumas, such as a hurricane or tornado, while the devastation can take time to heal from, the traumatic event itself is generally time-bound. A hurricane hits, causes destruction to a community, and then moves out of the area. While there’s no question the destruction can be significant, and the rebuilding process long, once the hurricane is over residents can turn their focus and efforts to rebuilding. Hope can be restored. In the case of the coronavirus pandemic, however, there is no timeline. We’ve never seen this virus before and have no clear idea about the time it will take for herd immunity to it to be built up, and for our lives to begin to return to some semblance of normal. In this case, the trauma is chronic and on-going. Studies have shown that it is uncertainty that is the most stressful condition under which our body can be. To illustrate this, Harvard researchers measured stress hormones in women waiting on their results, following biopsies of breast lumps, and found that their levels were significantly higher than stress hormone levels of women who were currently living with breast cancer. In other words, the possibility (uncertainty) of a cancer diagnosis is more stressful on our bodies than actually finding out that we have cancer. Again, this is likely due to the fact that once we know, one way or the other, we can shift into action, and into hope. In the case of coronavirus, there is a chance that any of us could contract it. There is a chance that even those of us who are young and healthy could need to be hospitalized, be put on a ventilator, or possibly even die from this virus. Constantly contemplating these outcomes is an incredibly uncertain and, thus, stressful state for our bodies to function in. Again, not necessarily conditions conducive to feeling well-rested, even when we are spending lots of extra time on the couch.

As If the Trauma Weren’t Enough

There has also been another theme among my therapy sessions the last two weeks, and it involves the sudden and collective loss of our “normal.” In a matter of days, our lives went from ordinary to turned upside down. We are now social distancing, we’re unable to visit with or see friends and family, our gyms and salons and favorite restaurants are closed, we’re working from home or losing our jobs, and we’re now guiding our children’s distance learning. The feelings that we feel as we navigate this new world – anger, frustration, exhaustion, confusion, depression, anxiety, to name a few – all fall under the umbrella of grief. We are collectively grieving the loss of what used to be and what should have been. Seniors are missing their graduations, couples are postponing their weddings, babies are being born to parents who must take them home and quarantine from the family and friends who would otherwise have come to shower the new family with visits and meals and support. We’re all missing and longing for a different time, just as we would mourn for a loved one who had passed. We know that grief can take a huge emotional toll, and wear us down physically and mentally, and it is no different when we are grieving the loss of our own freedoms and way of life.

A Note About Feelings

Given the novelty of the current pandemic, it is easy to understand that we may be feeling nervous or frustrated. We don’t know who will eventually contract the virus, and we don’t know how long it will last. During this time, we may also begin noticing other changes as well. It is not unusual during periods of traumatic stress, for example, to be more irritable than usual, to feel more anxious or depressed, or to feel an aversion to physical touch or closeness that is a change from ordinary. And what about joy? Excitement? Relief? Gratitude? These feelings appear so much at odds with current events and, yet, it is not uncommon for those enduring traumatic stress to experience a range of seemingly conflicting feelings. Joy at additional time spent with family – albeit in quarantine – excitement about watching a child learn something new under our new role as teacher, relief about not having to commute an hour to work each day, and the gratitude that comes from reflecting on our priorities and recognizing that we actually need much less to live a fulfilled life than we ever imagined? All of these emotions are normal and common, even during times of crisis. Feeling more emotional and crying about everything, or crying about nothing at all? Normal. Feeling overwhelmed at balancing all of your roles, all at once, from home? Normal. Feeling like you can’t wait to get out of quarantine and meet your friends for happy hour and also feeling like you cannot talk to one more person today? Normal. Feeling like you want to cook, should be eating, and also don’t have a bit of an appetite? All completely normal.

And while we’re talking about these shifting, conflicting, totally normal emotions, it is worth mentioning that it’s not just us, but our partners, our children, other family members we may be quarantined with, and our community at large are also feeling these same emotions. Managing all of these emotions, and managing our relationships in the context of these emotions, sheds a lot of light on why we are all just so damn tired.

So What Now?

A significant trend at the end of 2019 was to pick your word. The word that would define you and guide you, and set the course for your new year in 2020. While I didn’t pick a word then, if you were to ask me to pick a word now it would, without question, be grace. When we are living in a state of chronic trauma and grief, the only way through is grace. We are not – and cannot, by definition – functioning at our peak when we are facing traumatic stress. When our fight or flight is engaged, energy is diverted away from all non-critical body systems. Patience, critical and abstract thinking, concentration, all become non-essential when we are fighting for our survival. So no, we cannot expect ourselves to function optimally during this time. Recognizing that, and giving ourselves grace in our self-talk about our perceived under-performance or our lack of energy and motivation, is the key to surviving.

During times of survival, our expectations for ourselves and our families must be lowered. While Pinterest and Twitter may suggest this is the time to finally write your manuscript or learn to cook gourmet meals, I am here to tell you that this is not just “free time,” and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you can’t muster up the energy to microwave a bag of popcorn for dinner, much less cook a three course meal. Grace becomes our ticket to freeing ourselves from the societally-imposed guilt trap of productivity expectations.

There are many great articles circulating the internet right now about coping with the pandemic, so I won’t go into that here. But I will say that at the essential core of coping and self-care during this time is simply remembering to focus on grace and self-compassion as you navigate this unprecedented time. Take a walk, take a bath, take a nap, take deep breaths, ask for help, help where you can, and know that whatever you are feeling is completely normal, and whatever you need to do to love on and care for you during this time is okay. No guilt, only grace, as we walk this uncharted territory together.

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Jenn Geryol

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Parasol Wellness Collaborative



(763) 703-6962
info@parasolwellness.com Fax: (651) 222-9727

9201 Quaday Ave NE Ste 205 Otsego, MN 55330

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Rogers, MN 55374

600 Twelve Oaks Center Drive Suite #642H
Wayzata, Minnesota 55391

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9201 Quaday Ave NE Ste 205
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Wayzata, Minnesota 55391

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